I was just looking at a photograph of myself and I noticed the beads on my right wrist. Sadly, only one of the beads is now left. Concentrating on this photograph I realized that I attach so much importance to things, no matter how little. To corroborate this, I recall a pen I loved which I gave to my friend. That was the only pen I had but he needed it so I let go and got another one.
Only for me to see him next time and he had misplaced it. I still remind him of that pen today, though with conscience so that we don’t have problems.
It’s normal to feel attached to special belongings or a place that holds meaning. Most people cherish things like wedding rings, photo albums, family heirlooms, and journals because they offer physical reminders of important moments. Or they perform important roles, just like my pen earlier mentioned.
We don’t even want to talk about those who are emotionally attached to their pets, even up to crying when the pets are no more. That’s because the pets represent an aspect of their lives which they are lacking. You want to know more about this? See Reasons why I am so attached to my pets.
Letting go of possessions can be like letting go of a part of ourselves. If care is not taken, it could cause problems between you and your loved ones. When I come across things I know that someone else needs, at first i struggle to release them, until I intentionally dissociate my feelings from the item and let go with a smile and a thankful heart.
For some other people, it goes a little further. They are so attached to people that they can’t let them out of their sight. It often happens in relationships. But how do you know that you are emotionally attached to someone?
- You feel incomplete without them. You can’t seem to function well when they aren’t with you. When was the last time you voiced your opinion about something? It’s like you’ve lost your identity. To help yourself, you need to search your mind and do the things that make you who you are.
- You find yourself putting their needs before yours. Your actions may seem like you always want to please them. You don’t have personal interests, but you engage yourself in what the other person likes. This doesn’t help you to learn about yourself.
- Sometimes your thoughts are of a competitive nature? You are attached as a result of desiring someone who is with a friend. The feelings may not be for the person you want but more so through competition (you feel as if you are better than the person they are with). Sometimes these feelings can ruin friendships when acting on the urge from your emotions, or making your feelings known to the person. You have to devise means in order to work through these feelings without hurting your friendship or their relationship with the other person.
Some people don’t even recognize when their emotional attachment has become unhealthy for themselves and others. You need to observe when your emotions are going awry so that you can put them in check.
When your emotional attachment becomes unhealthy…
You’ve lost yourself. You can’t live without them. In cases where something happens and you both have to go your separate ways, you can’t seem to function on your own. This might make you always seek to be with someone. You can’t spend even a second standing on your own.
You can regain your composure when you master your emotions
Ray quotes
How to come out of an unhealthy emotional attachment
- You must first evaluate yourself, are you scared of being alone? Are you feeling insecure whether you’re in a relationship or not? Then you need to go on a journey of self discovery. What’s special about you? What do you love? You need to create time to do this so that you can reconnect with your identity.
- Meditate
- Deliberately work to build and strengthen relationships and friendships. You can do this even when you’re not in a relationship.
- Go for therapy. Find out little emotional triggers even up to your childhood. You’ll discover why you act the way you do, make strategies on how to develop yourself more and learn healthier relationship skills.
The Crux of the matter?
Emotional attachments aren’t entirely evil, it is part of human relationships where you give and take. Provide as much emotional support as you are given in order to promote positive impacts in your relationship with people around you.
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