There’s a feeling you get knowing you have someone special in your life. Someone you can call anytime and just play and laugh with, someone you can fart in his presence without shame, someone you can easily confide in, someone who doesn’t focus on your flaws, yet amplifies your sweetness and vibes, someone who tries his best to shield you from your insecure self by reassuring you until it sinks into your skull that the man loves you, someone who… In fact, the list is endless. If you’ve ever had someone of this nature, you’ll understand that these are attributes of a man who knows what he wants and gets it.
The story is different when he is exhibiting a character different from what you expect in a guy. But how would you know that someone is not good for you? This should be easy. You’ll get this answer from how you feel about him and what he does.
Aside from the conviction you will have, there are some telltale signs that your relationship with this guy is not just it. Better to know your stand and move on than dwell in a cage you didn’t know you had the keys to unlock and set yourself free. Now let’s discuss…
Does he compare you with his exes?
This has the tendency to make you inadequate; make you feel less of yourself. He shouldn’t be making you feel bad in such a way. There’s nothing as bad as something or someone messing with your mind. He should be constructively criticizing you out of love and sensitivity.
He shouldn’t be doing it just to hurt you and make you feel bad. Are you on this table? Stop giving excuses for him, if you bring it to his notice, once, twice, thrice, still no change? You need to go where you can have peace, or what do you think?
Are you frequently abused?
He hasn’t laid a finger on me before… Yeah yeah! I get this. But he is free to talk to you with mean words? Open your eyes! The word, abuse in this case doesn’t only mean physical abuse. There’s also verbal abuse sister.
A lady stayed in a relationship where she kept hearing words like, “you have no sense, you don’t ever get anything right, etc.”… She remained there because she thought no one else could love her. The guy’s words had sunk so deep she couldn’t see herself being without him. We aren’t even going to dwell too much on physical abuse. You should know better with the scars on your face literally and figuratively. Then you’ll make up your mind.
He gets angry at any slight mistake you make?
If you find that he is often incapable of controlling his anger and resorts to smashing any item near you, using foul language and yelling at you, then he is being violent. If this isn’t negativity, then I don’t know what is.
Is he after everything under skirt?
I hear some ladies are ready to turn a blind eye to this behaviour from men, as long as the man is wealthy enough to take care of her. If you’re this kind of lady, good for you. But if you can’t endure all the heartaches from detecting foreign perfumes and lipstick stains on his clothes, late nights and regular knowing absence from the house, I suggest you set your priorities straight right now. You know what is good for you, I presume.
Does he keep blackmailing you?
Does he rub your mistakes on your face, threatening to break up with you every chance he gets? That’s pure blackmail my dear. Come to think if it…why does the thought of breaking up keep coming to his head?
Why does he flaunt it on your face as if he is trying to give you a cue as to what is to come? Use your tongue to count your teeth o, you’re the best person who can do that sis. Have an honest conversation with him; his response will give you your answer.
Sis, these are only few of the many red flags waving at you, it’s the first day of a new month…a new beginning. Do you!