How Do You Know You Are In Love Or Just Infatuated?

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I know someone who has had ‘a million crushes’ and still counting. Forgive my hyperbolic expression but that person can love o; no jokes. Ask him and he would say, “ Rachael, I’m in love”.

At the end of the day, when it doesn’t work out. He is crying like a baby. Wait o, between guys and ladies, who do you think loves more? Well, this will be a post for another day.

Moving on…

Let us decipher the difference between infatuation and true love.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.

Take note of the terms, ‘intense’ and ‘short-lived’. Imagine you first see someone and the attraction starts building, immediately you think there is a connection based on that. I’ve heard some people say, “it was love at first sight”.

Meanwhile, love is an intentional affection for someone with no conditions.

I feel a rising urge to write a post on what I know love is. Stay tuned for the next post…

The feelings you experience during infatuation are usually very strong; if not curbed, could metamorphose into extreme obsession.

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Another important point to note is that it is short-lived. Infatuation could last between 6 months and a year; or even beyond. Sometimes it could be as short as two days, it depends on when the couple realize what they’re into.

Because I understand how much you long to know if you’re in this boat or truly in love, I’ll get down to enumerating its signs.


  1. Perfection

You expect the person to be without any flaw, having all the qualities you seek in a partner. Even their ‘vampire teeth’ looks perfect in your eyes. Their hands, face, lips, eyes, shape, etc. make you feel giddy. Whereas when in love, you understand and accept the other person’s flaws.

  • Everything reminds you of the person

Your thoughts are centered on the other person. Any love song you hear makes your heart race. You seem to smell whiffs of their perfume anywhere you go.

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I just recalled a time I knew the exact markings underneath his shoe. I could recognize the imprint on the sand anywhere I am. Then I’d tell myself that he must have been there. It’s quite hilarious now that I remember it.

  • Your mind is always wandering.

 You’re probably fantasizing on how you’d go out, how the person would hold you in their arms, etc. Sometimes, this happens when you’re reading, you end up staying on one page for hours. All the while, you’re smiling. You literally lose focus most of the time.

Coupled with the above signs, here are clear differences between infatuation and love:

  • Infatuation is immediate while love is a slow process;
  • Infatuation is selfish and reckless with emotions whereas love is considerate.

You need to understand that infatuation is driven by feelings, and remember feelings change frequently. Before you know it, the feelings evaporate into thin air and you can’t believe you were once ‘in love’ with this person.

Whereas love is knowing the good and bad of someone and still loving them all the same.

I hope you’ve been able to understand the difference.

Please share your story or contribution in the comment section.

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