Understanding Dating And Courtship

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Every now and then, two people of both gender meet and agree to spend sometime to get to know each other for the purpose of cultivating a romantic relationship that would last. This depends on the commitment of both parties as some persons break up after a certain period of time due to certain reasons. You are not quite sure why? See reasons why people break up.

 Relationships are an integral part of life. And dating has been a general term used to describe the stage where both parties meet socially to access themselves in order to see if they are suitable for the ultimate union called marriage.




Meanwhile courtship is a more serious period just before engagement where certain character traits are being accessed. It basically has to do with making the intention of both parties known to themselves and their parents and it is undertaken only when both parties are prepared to make a commitment to marry. It is therefore, imperative that they do not waste the time on frivolities.

One question though…

Do people utilize this period to discuss important things that would be of concern later in marriage? Unfortunately no. Most marriages have ended because they’ve realized that they are not compatible. Whereas, they didn’t spend time as friends first before diving into romance.

If you ask me, cultivating friendship should be the top priority of every intending couple. Each day should be spent discussing sensible topics and not just visiting all the restaurants in town having idle conversations. Again, I say, be friends with your partner, get to know each other before professing love. See why you should be friends with your partner before marriage.

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In courtship, parental consent is advised. It shows a form of high regard for them.

But before you get here, you must have known at least the person’s perceptions about  life, value system etc, while you are still friends. It eventually solidifies your decision to profess love and marriage especially when your partner doesn’t exhibit any trait that should be a cause for concern.

In my opinion, it is wrong to profess love to someone when you have no intention of marrying them. This has become a norm where someone approaches you and calls it love at first sight. Love grows and it becomes stronger when you nurture it. As a Christian, the love of Christ is shed abroad in our hearts. So we can love everyone with agape love and not the erotic one which should be reserved for one person-your spouse.

A lot  of people get it wrong here… You’re still friends until both parents say yes or no. Only then will you both start the serious process of engagement.

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There’s something I bet you’ve never thought of…

Should a man propose to his fiancée without first seeing her parents?

I actually saw a video where a guy was proposing to the lady during a wedding reception where she was the chief bride’s maid. He was on his knees holding the ring when her father came and dragged his grown daughter away saying that it’s not the proper thing to do since he hasn’t been told first. Obviously that was very embarrassing seeing that it was a crowded wedding reception.

What do you think about this?

Some persons just go to their parents after the engagement before proceeding with the introduction and wedding planning. A lot of persons have different views about this though.

My humble opinion?

A man needs to tell his parents that he has seen a lady he wants to marry. Likewise the lady. This saves them from embarrassing stories that touch the heart. In the African culture, doing this makes the guy a responsible person.

Then the parents will ask striking questions that would test the intending couple’s conviction in choosing each other for marriage. Their response and conviction against all odds would determine if the wedding bells would soon start ringing.

So are you in a relationship?

What stage are you in? What kind of questions do you think you should be asking each other?





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